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  • Me:

    I'm hungry, but broke

  • Brain:

    you have French toast in the fridge

  • Me:

    I don't want French toast

  • Brain:

    you have fried rice in the fridge. It's your favorite.

  • Me:

    yeah, it is, but I don't want fried rice

  • Brain:

    you have Mac and cheese

  • Me:

    I don't want Mac and cheese

  • Brain:

    you have ramen

  • Me:

    I don't want ramen

  • Brain:

    BITCH WORK WITH ME HERE YOU NEED TO EAT

  • Me:

    ...

  • Brain:

    ...

  • Me:

    ...

  • Brain:

    well what do you want

  • Me:

    ... I want chocolate donuts

  • Brain:

    ............... Well then you're fucked

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

ap-pokemon:

#387 TurtwigThe shell on its back is made of hardened soil; when it absorbs water, the shell becomes harder. On a very healthy Turtwig, the shell should feel moist. Turtwig performs photosynthesis, absorbing sunlight and making oxygen. The leaf on its head wilts if it is thirsty, so Turtwig relies heavily on water to keep its plant healthy and thus spends a lot of time near lakes.

Omfg hahaha seriously a kid on LOL just asked me if i was one of the australian team members for the world championships all because i got a double kill that another guy did all the damage to XD

bullshit394:

thernediocregatsby:

darkfather-ihavesinned:

stfunadeen:

hisan-na:

orientaltiger:

Fill your heart with secrets but the only way to read them is if you break your heart. 

i will forever reblog this

i need me one of these.

OMG I WANT ONE

i think every couple should get one and fill it with the little things they love about each other. and then if they’re fighting throw it at a wall and read all the little things that come out and hopefully that will remind them to love again. 

asdfghjkl reblogging for that ^

(Source: orientaltiger)

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